As I write this, I’m on a train into London to see some friends and go support a few artists that I love at an exhibition and concert. It’s cold, grey, and rainy and I love it. It’s the kind of environment where I feel alive, fully aware of where I am and what God is doing.
This trip to the UK is for a tour with David’s Tent, the music festival I help organize in the summer. For the next week some other leaders and I will be driving around the UK solely to connect with musicians that invest in us during the summer. We’re looking forward to eating together, worshiping in homes, and being amazed at what God is doing in this nation.
(OK a bunch of school girls just on the train and are talking very loudly about how their “bums are wet” and “wellies are muddy”… I felt like I was onto something big and am now distracted…but will push through trust that God works for the good)
This time leaving Spain was harder than normal. It feels less like the “fun adventure” to another country, and more like a sacrifice to leave what I’m involved in to invest somewhere else for a bit. Don’t get me wrong, this road trip will be an incredibly fun adventure but just more difficult than usual to get into the swing of things. This is a good thing though. It’s further proof that Malaga isn’t just a project, its a part of me and I’m not just leaving people, I’m leaving family.
This year God has given me a wonderful grace to step back a bit and evaluate what I’m doing. Amidst the pressure to organize events, start scheduling, put out applications etc, I’ve felt a little behind. I told God this year that whatever happened I didn’t want my ministry to be focused on the next big thing. I didn’t want to take what I did last year and just make it bigger and better. I wanted to keep in step with what the Spirit was doing. Besides, if you’re just trying to find the next big thing that God is doing you will always be behind. God’s always starts small. Worse than that, relationships become a means to an in with both God and men and after it’s over there’s a great risk that the people you were working with won’t even be in your life 5 years down the road.
That’s what has gotten me the most. What am I doing right now that will still be producing fruit years down the road? Who am I working with now that I will still be having coffee with when we’re in our 50’s? Is what I’m doing really worth it?
I think what a lot of people don’t realize about worship is that it’s foundation is covenant. It’s not about the sacrifice, the music played, the hours spent, the people lead. It’s about the affirmation and admiration of God’s covenant with his people and our covenant with each other. This is one of the only consistent themes if you study worship in the Bible.
Covenant isn’t based on success, circumstances, emotions, proximity, or seasons of life. It’s based on a choice and effort to make sacrifices for that choice. It’s amazing that God has made his choice and is faithful and this is our example. Covenant is a weighty word and it’s unrealistic to think that I would have the same measure of covenant with everyone. Some relationships just won’t last and aren’t meant to. That’s ok and really needs to be recognized so you don’t burn out.
Keeping in mind that God doesn’t need our worship, man was not created to be alone, and that one day a lot of people will come to God with accomplishments and titles in their hands only to be met with God never knowing them, I think it’s safe to ask this slightly provocative question…
“Is your worship really worth it?”
At least that’s what I’ve been asking myself recently….
My vision is changing quite a bit into a discovery to find out what God is doing in other people’s hearts and support it, not just to build the kingdom this year but to still see it growing when I’m old and be in great relationships with those I’m building with.
The London skyline is now in view and the trains slowing down so I’ll wrap this one up. I look forward to writing an update about the trip once I return to Spain!